Family & Parenting Benjamin Brown Family & Parenting Benjamin Brown

HOW AN ANCIENT PHILOSOPHY IS HELPING MODERN DADS

Father with baby on shoulders holding toddler and smiling

Stoic philosophy has guided some of the greatest leaders in history. This ancient practice, founded in Greece by philosophers like Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius, has gained popularity in recent years due to its practical applications to modern life. But how can stoic philosophy help you be a better parent? Here are some key principles of stoicism that you can apply to your parenting style.

Focus on what you can control

Stoicism emphasizes the importance of focusing on what you can control, and letting go of what you can't. As a parent, this means accepting that you can't control everything that happens to your child, but you can control your own reactions to those events. For example, if your child gets sick, you can't control the illness, but you can control how you respond by staying calm and providing comfort and care.

Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth

Stoicism teaches that challenges and adversity are opportunities for growth and self-improvement. As a parent, you will undoubtedly face challenges, from sleepless nights to tantrums to teenage rebellion. Rather than seeing these challenges as obstacles, try to reframe them as opportunities to strengthen your patience, resilience, and problem-solving skills.

Practice self-control and emotional regulation

Stoicism emphasizes the importance of self-control and emotional regulation. As a parent, this means staying calm and level-headed even in stressful situations. It also means being aware of your own emotional triggers and practicing self-care to ensure that you are in a good emotional state to handle the challenges of parenting.

Cultivate gratitude and perspective

Stoicism teaches the importance of cultivating gratitude and perspective, and this is especially relevant to parenting. It's easy to get bogged down in the day-to-day frustrations of parenting, but taking a step back and reflecting on the bigger picture can help you appreciate the joys and blessings of parenthood. Practicing gratitude can also help you maintain a positive attitude and stay resilient in the face of challenges.

Lead by example

Finally, stoicism emphasizes the importance of leading by example. As a parent, you are a role model for your child, and your actions and attitudes can have a powerful impact on their development. By practicing stoic principles in your own life, you can model resilience, self-control, and a positive attitude for your child to emulate.

Stoic philosophy can offer valuable insights and practical tools for millennial fathers who want to be better parents. By focusing on what you can control, embracing challenges as opportunities for growth, practicing self-control and emotional regulation, cultivating gratitude and perspective, and leading by example, you can become a more resilient, patient, and effective parent.

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ErgoBaby Omni 360 Baby Carrier Review: Comfort, Versatility, and Durability

investing in a quality baby carrier can pay big dividends for both parents and a new baby. but with it’s $180 price tag, does the ergobaby omni 360 live up to the hype?

investing in a quality baby carrier can pay big dividends for both parents and a new baby. but with it’s $180 price tag, does the ergobaby omni 360 live up to the hype?


Regularly wearing your baby can be such an amazing bonding experience. Combine the developmental and bonding benefits of baby-wearing with the ability to use not one but BOTH of your hands, while keeping baby safe and comfortable, and you have an absolute no-brainer. But a good quality baby carrier is something that is often overlooked on a registry. Ergobaby has a history of making durable and feature packed carriers, and our experience with the is no exception.

Now, full disclosure, we bought our Omni 360 second hand. My wife (as she often does) was pursuing the local mom gossip on a Facebook group, and stumbled across a woman selling the Omni 360 with the original box and it had only been used once. Apparently her infant hated being in a carrier, so after one use it was up for sale at about 50% of retail. Huge win for us.

So, do we like it just because we got it cheap? Maybe. Would I pay full retail for this if I had to buy it again? Absolutely.

pros

  • Padding in all the right places. This carrier is easily the most comfortable that we own, beyond that, it’s one of the most comfortable carriers that we’ve ever tested, full stop. If you ever worn a hiking pack (this something by Osprey), you’ll understand how much padding is on this carrier. This makes the carrier feel incredibly supportive for both baby and parent. I wore this carrier almost daily for a year, with several longs days in the Carolina heat and humidity. I was never uncomfortable (sweaty, very sweaty), but not uncomfortable.

  • Infinite adjustability. The Omni 360 has a range of adjustments for both baby and parent, making this a one and done kind of carrier that will fit parents of all sizes. For example, I’m 5’10 and 230 lbs, and this carrier comfortably fits me and my 5’2” wife. The carrier is also adjustable to fit kids from “week 1 to 48 months” according to the ErgoBaby website. The padded straps are adjustable for parents of all sizes, and they can even be crossed for more petit wearers.

  • Front, back, side to side. The main showpiece of the Omni 360 is that it can be worn in multiple configurations. Baby can face in or out (depending on age and weight), and can be worn to the front, to either side, or on your back.

  • Durability. We’ve had our ErgoBaby Omni 360 for almost two years now, with almost daily use for an entire year. It still looks new. There are no signs of wear, no fraying threads, no pilling, no staining. Nothing. All of the clips are in tact, the straps are still in great shape, and the entire carrier looks almost like the day we brought it home.

  • Machine washable. Because blowouts are a thing…

  • Breathability. With it’s primarily mesh construction, this is the most breathable carrier that we own. Will it stop you from sweating on a hot day? No. Will it keep you and baby cooler than most other carriers? Yes.

cons

  • Straps galore - The beauty of an infinitely adjustable baby carrier means that you have straps and buckles everywhere. This can also make the carrier a little confusing to use, especially when using it for multiple people. There are straps to adjust any and every point on the ErgoBaby Omni 360. Once you adjust them, they all need to be tucked back into their little elastic holders to avoid looking like you’re walking around in bondage gear (no judgement here, you do you!).

  • Confusing at first - When we first brought this carrier home, it wasn’t clear what all needed to be adjusted in order to make it fit our body, and our baby. It took about an hour of reading through the manual, adjusting, reading again, and re-adjusting to get everything looking and feeling the way we wanted it, and more importantly to where our baby was safe and secure. If you don’t have patience and commitment to use this carrier, it could easily become an expensive attic storage item.

Conslusion

So, after over a year of nearly daily use would we recommend the ErgoBaby Omni360 carrier? Absolutely! Out of all the carriers we own, this one has been by far the one that we’ve gotten the most use out of. Is the most convenient to use? No. Is it the most economical to purchase? By no stretch of the imagination, no. Is it still our favorite carrier to this day for long outings, trips, and more? 100%. Overall, the issues that we saw as cons aren’t deal breakers. Once you’ve used the carrier more than a few times, it’s easy to get the hang of it. Its combination of adjustability, comfort and durability outweigh the learning curve.

Have something to add? Leave a comment below!

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5 LUXURY BABY ITEMS THAT ARE WORTH YOUR MONEY

The world of luxury baby products has no shortage of companies that are more hype than value. Most new parents don’t have an unlimited budget to splurge on every gadget that claims to be the best on the market. However, here are five luxury baby items that we found were more than worth their premium price tags.

When it comes to the world of baby products, there’s no shortage of companies willing to charge a premium price for their offerings. But not many new parents have the kind of budget that would allow them to buy and try all of the premium baby products on the market. So when it comes down to it, where should you spend your money? What products are worth their premium price tag? In this video, we discuss some of our favorite luxury category baby products, all of which have provided more value than their initial price tag.

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UNBOXING: COLUGO COMPACT STROLLER (REVIEW & FIRST IMPRESSIONS)

The Colugo Compact stroller is a well-priced option in the growing luxury travel stroller market, but does it deliver against its more expensive competitors?

If you’re like us and have a growing family that loves to get out and about, then you may be looking at the wide range of compact, travel friendly strollers on the market. Today, we’re taking a look at one of those offerings: the Colugo compact stroller.

To watch the video version of this review, click “Play” below:

who is the colugo compact stroller for?

The Colugo Compact stroller is for everyone! Well, maybe not for everyone. This stroller is really aimed at the luxury travel stroller segment, competing with brands like UppaBaby, Mockingbird, Joolz, and BabyZen. However, unlike most of these brands, Colugo strollers are not sold in stores. They are a part of the growing segment of stroller manufacturers that are sold directly to consumers through their website.

So what does this mean for you? This means that Colugo can operate with lower overhead, and a lower price point while not sacrificing on materials and quality. Priced at around $285 USD, the Colugo is competing with strollers that cost $100-200 more. All around, this is a huge win for parents looking for a premium stroller at a more reasonable price point.

unboxing experience

The unboxing of a product is something that I take very seriously. When you’re buying a premium priced item, you want the entire experience to feel premium from start to finish. Colugo’s unboxing experience was very good. The stroller showed up in two beautifully branded boxes and everything was laid out inside, secured, and packaged as to avoid damage during shipping. The best part though was that it was packaged in a way that helped the stroller stay in new condition, but that wasn’t difficult to unpack for the consumer. Cut a few pieces of tape, remove a few bits of foam, and voila! you’re ready to roll.

first impressions

Right out of the box, the Colugo compact stroller felt very nice to handle. The materials felt nice to the touch, and were soft but felt durable enough to hold up to the demands of daily use without too much fuss. What really struck me was the size of this thing! Designed to fit neatly in the overhead compartment of an airplane, so compared to our full size UppaBaby Vista stroller, the Colugo felt tiny. Weighing in at just 16 pounds, the stroller is lightweight and can easily be carried from place to place using the integrated shoulder strap, or the included travel backpack. I could see this being a huge win for those who travel with their kids a lot, or those who live in urban areas where they’re using public transit or Uber to get around. The Colugo comfort layer (the pad that your child sits on), was easy to slide onto the stroller frame, and provides a solid layer of foam to keep your little comfortable while strolling. I was also blown away by the size of the basket. In most compact strollers, you get something that sort of qualifies as a “basket” but really won’t hold much more than a few snacks, and maybe a few small items. The Colugo compact provides a basket that almost competes with our full size stroller. I was even able to fit my full sized backpack into the bottom basket. This means that it can be used for a quick grocery run, or for storing lots of toys and snacks on the go.

While I loved the size, weight, and function of the stroller, there were a few areas where I felt there is improvement to be made. First off, quality control of final assembly. When looking over the stroller and testing out all of it’s functions, I noticed that there were a few areas where fabrics hadn’t been fastened to the frame correctly. This took a few minutes to figure out, and because all of the fabrics are removable and washable, it took me just a minute or two to get everything reconnected and set up correctly. The second issue (and it’s not a big one), was the process for threading the shoulder straps through the comfort layer. It took me a bit of fiddling and maneuvering to get everything set up correctly and threaded through all of the layers of fabric properly. This is the case with most strollers, but a lot of companies like UppaBaby are moving to more readily adjustable strap systems. I hope to see those straps updated in a future version of the stroller.

Finally, the accessories that come with Colugo compact stroller are fantastic. Each one feels like it was purpose built to be both lightweight and portable, without sacrificing quality. In our kit Colugo provided a rain shield that completely covers the seating area, as well as (gasp) a removable CUP HOLDER. This is great for holding a sippy cup for your little, or a little (ahem) “daddy juice” for those leisurely strolls around the neighborhood.

operation

This is where the Colugo compact shines! Personally, I have a rule: if I can’t figure out how to operate a stroller in five minutes or less, then it’s too complicated. The Colugo compact was no slouch in the simplicity department.

Let’s start with the folding/unfolding system. To fold the stroller, simply click the hidden thumb button to unlock the handle trigger, then squeeze the handle trigger and fold forward and down in one swift motion. To unfold it, you just need to unclip the compression lock, and give it a good “flick” forward. The flicking motion to get it unfolded takes a bit of practice, but once you get it, you’re going to feel as cool as I do opening this thing! (You won’t be cool, but you’ll feel like you are).

The braking system was also very simple. The Colugo compact stroller makes use of a single, center mounted braking pedal on the rear axle. Push down to engage the brakes, kick forward to disengage. Easy peazy!

Pro Tip: I haven’t had any issues with this as a 5’9” dad, but I have heard that some taller parents may have issues with kicking the brake on while walking. This is because the Colugo doesn’t have an adjustable or extendable handle like some of its competitors.

The sun shade on the Colugo compact stroller is great and holds up against full size strollers. It provides great coverage for your kiddo and also extends so that you can have some extra cover for those super sunny days. Now this isn’t a full sun block, and light will creep in if it’s low in the sky, or if you’re walking towards the sun, but it will keep your kiddo mostly shaded.

One of my favorite features is the full recline function. By undoing two small loops at the back of the stroller, and using the pinch buckle on the back the Colugo compact stroller allows your little one to lay back comfortably for those on-the-go naps.

maneuverability

This is another area where the Colugo compact stroller shines. Because of its light weight ergonomics, and frame geometry, the stroller is incredibly easy to maneuver in tight spaces. It feels very nimble and makes use of “no flat” solid wheels. This, paired with a spring assisted shock system in the front means that the stroller provides a comfortable ride over most terrains. In my opinion, the stroller will do much better in urban settings, but can handle some light rough terrain, so maybe don’t take your baby off-roading. But for daily use around town, this stroller hits all the marks.

included accessories

All of the included accessories felt purpose built with travel and function in mind. The rain shield feels like it will provide adequate protection in most situations from light drizzle to fairly heavy downpours. It’s easy to get on and off, and folds neatly down into its own carrying case, which is a bonus as even the rain cover for our much more expensive UppaBaby Vista just sort of flops around until you need it. The bug net is also impressive in that it zips right onto the sun shade, making it easier to transport and us than most other bug net systems that we’ve experienced. The Colugo compact stroller even comes with a (gasp!) removable cup holder! This is perfect for holding a drink for your little one, or some of that special “daddy juice” while you walk around the neighborhood.

final thoughts

At $285 the Colugo compact delivers premium features at significantly less than its competitors. From the unboxing experience, to the included accessories, the full size storage bin, and the thoughtfulness of its design, the Colugo delivers on its promise of a lightweight travel stroller that will hold up to years of use. If you’re on the hunt for a stroller that will fit the needs of a small family on the go, or for travel, the Colugo compact stroller is worth a look.

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BATTLE ROYALE: HATCH REST VS. HATCH REST PLUS

THERE’S NO SHORTAGE OF QUALITY SLEEP MACHINES OUT THERE FOR BABIES. BUT WHEN IT COMES TO THE CREAM OF THE CROP, FEW STAND ABOVE HATCH REST AND HATCH REST PLUS. BOTH OF THESE MACHINES OFFER GREAT FEATURES AT A REASONABLE PRICE POINT, BUT WHEN THEY GO HEAD TO HEAD, WHICH ONE COMES OUT ON TOP?


There’s no shortage of quality sleep machines out there for babies. But when it comes to the cream of the crop, few stand above Hatch Rest and Hatch Rest Plus. Both of these machines offer great features at a reasonable price point, but when they go head to head, which one comes out on top?



Let’s break it down: Hatch Rest

The Hatch Rest is the original sleep machine released by Hatch Baby (now just Hatch) and quickly became one of the top infant must-haves on the market. With a huge range of features like great volume, the ability to turn it on via touch, and the ability to choose from hundreds of combinations of colors and sounds to make your favorites, the Hatch Rest is no slouch. Let’s take a look at the pro’s and cons:

What we love:

  • At $59.99 USD the Hatch Rest is cheaper than the Hatch Rest Plus and very much in line with competitors in the market

  • Works primarily as a sound machine (and does that incredibly well)

  • Has a night-light function

  • Has a programmable touch ring that can be used to power the unit on and off, as well as to cycle through your favorite presets

  • Can be programmed for “Time to Rise” which helps when sleep training toddlers

  • Can be paired with the Hatch Sleep app

What we don’t:

  • The Hatch Rest connects with your phone and app via bluetooth. Bluetooth has a limited range and the sound machine can lost connection with your phone if there are too many walls between you and the device

  • No backup battery which means this unit has to be plugged into the wall to work

  • Does not have an audio monitor like the Hatch Rest +

Hatch Rest Plus

The Hatch Rest Plus is the newest, biggest, baddest sound machine on the block for any smart nursery. With all of its upgraded features it seems like this would be the best option, but let’s go quickly through the pros and cons.

What we love:

  • Works primarily as a sound machine (and does that incredibly well)

  • Has a backup battery so it can be moved from room to room and will work if your power goes out

  • Has a night-light function

  • Has a programmable touch ring that can be used to power the unit on and off, as well as to cycle through your favorite presets

  • Can be programmed for “Time to Rise” which helps when sleep training toddlers

  • Can be paired with the Hatch Sleep app via Wifi

  • Device connects to your phone via the app and wifi, which gives it a much greater range. This means you can essentially control it from anywhere.

what we don’t:

  • At $89.99 USD the Hatch Rest Plus is more expensive than the Hatch Rest and most other sound machines on the market.

  • The backup battery only lasts for a few hours, great for naps but won’t last for an entire nights sleep

  • If your wifi goes out, you can’t use the smart app to control the device

OVERALL WINNER: Hatch Rest+

Now that we’ve had a few months using both machines we’ve been able to come to some pretty solid conclusions about which one is the better value. While the Hatch Rest is an incredible sound machine and has some killer features, the Rest Plus just takes all of those up a few notches and adds a backup battery, which gives you much more flexibility in how and when you use this sound machine to help your little one (and you) get a more restful nights sleep. With the added bonus of long-range control via wifi, the Hatch Rest Plus has just enough tweaks and upgrades to make up for the $30 price difference.


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WHAT THE US ELECTION CAN TEACH US ABOUT PARENTING

WE’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF ONE OF THE MOST DIVISIVE ELECTIONS IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES. IT’S BEEN FOUR YEARS OF INCREDIBLY INTENSE RHETORIC FROM BOTH SIDES, AND AN EXHIBITION IN FAILED LEADERSHIP AND FAILED HUMANITY. HERE, ON THE CUSP OF LEARNING THE RESULTS OF THE 2020 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION, IT’S IMPORTANT TO REFLECT ON WHAT WE CAN LEARN FROM THIS PIVOTAL MOMENT IN AMERICAN HISTORY.

We’re in the middle of one of the most divisive elections in the history of the United states. It’s been four years of incredibly intense rhetoric from both sides, and an exhibition in failed leadership and failed humanity. Here, on the cusp of learning the results of the 2020 presidential election, it’s important to reflect on what we can learn from this pivotal moment in american history.

It all started with a concession speech from the late Senator John McCain…

During the 2008 presidential race, I was 21 years old. I was sure that I understood the world, and my place in it (as 21 year olds often are). I was sure of my politics, and I was sure of my disdain for John McCain. He had, after all, been a part of the group of GOP clowns who pushed for endless wars in the Middle East right? Right?

At the time, I didn’t bother watching this concession speech, because I thought it to be inconsequential. The candidate that I wanted to win, won. My team prevailed, so that was all that mattered. Looking back on all of this I realize that I lacked the maturity and perspective to understand what poor leadership truly looked like. I had been blessed in my lifetime up until that point to see generally solid leaders in the White House. Well respected men who acted with the nations best interests at heart. Leaders who, despite differences with their opponents, ultimately attempted to bring the country together to fight for the common good. While there were disagreements about how to get there, everyone at least appeared to work across party lines for the good of our nation.

Then came the surprise presidency of Donald J. Trump and with it, an exposure of an America that we had only seen glimpses of during the Obama presidency. I watched ordinary Americans divided along party lines, and ideals on humanity, religion, sexual orientation and basic human rights. It felt like the country was broken. It felt like the American that I knew and loved had somehow come apart and that it’s fundamental goodness and light had been diminished and was on the brink of being destroyed. Now that it appears that his presidency is coming to an end (and Trump feels backed into a corner), his speeches, actions, and rhetoric have become even more unhinged.

So what do these two things (McCains concession speech and Trumps current insanity) have to do with parenting? If we look at McCains concession speech, what we see is a prime example of true leadership. Even though it was a hard fought campaign, at the end of it, there were two men who came away from it with mutual respect, and the conviction to work together to build a better nation. Instead of focusing on continuing to batter, beat, and berate each other, McCain and Obama found common ground on which to stand and work together. Trump on the other hand, driven by ego, hubris, and lack of personal responsibility, has continued to spout hatred and vitriol for four years. Instead of attempting to work with others who have differing views from him, he has positioned himself as the savior of a nation. He used the anger created during the 2016 election cycle to continue to campaign long after he won the election. He’s essentially spent four years patting himself on the back instead of leading the nation.

McCain showed us that a true leader is gracious in defeat. He treated his opponent with respect, even though they both fought an incredibly difficult battle for the White House. He realized that at the end of the day, both of them love their country and ultimately had the same goal: to build a better country for our children, grandchildren, and fellow citizens. This is the lesson.

We need more leaders like John McCain (a sentence I never thought I’d write). We need more leaders in this world who know how to stand up for what they believe in, but without then believing that those who don’t agree with them are somehow evil. Just because we don’t agree with someone, doesn’t mean that they’re less human than we are. It’s good to have differing opinions, but it’s not good to hate someone based on those opinions.

As my grandpa used to say “Opinions are like assholes, everyone’s got one”.

In my mind, what the 2020 presidential race has taught us that we need better elected officials, more parents, and more leaders doing a better job showing what it means to be a good citizen of this great nation. We need to set the example on how to disagree with someone without painting them as evil or less than. The fact is, that most people out there have more in common than they do differences, no matter what they’re background. Everyone wants to feel safe, everyone wants to have enough to eat and a roof over their heads, everyone wants the best for their children, and everyone wants to be able to live the way they want without interference from others. This all or nothing attitude has infected our country at the highest positions and will influence how we relate to one another for years to come. But when we look deeply at ourselves, acknowledge our own biases, and work to better understand one another rather than claw, and tear, and destroy the “other side”, then and only then can we continue to become the nation that we were meant to be. When this is all over I hope that we can move on, together as a nation, and as Americans into a brighter future.

Have something you’d like to add? Leave a comment below!

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PACKING A HOSPITAL BAG FOR DAD

WHAT SHOULD DAD PACK IN HIS HOSPITAL BAG? IN THIS WEEKS VIDEO, I'M GOING TO SHARE SOME RECOMMENDATIONS FOR WHAT A NEW DAD SHOULD PUT IN HIS HOSPITAL BAG. A LITTLE THOUGHT AND PLANNING CAN GO A LONG WAY, AND KEEP YOU FROM HAVING AN "OH SH!T" MOMENT WHEN YOU FORGET SOMETHING.

What should Dad pack in his hospital bag? In this weeks video, I'm going to share some recommendations for what a new dad should put in his hospital bag. A little thought and planning can go a long way, and keep you from having an "oh sh!t" moment when you forget something.


Here’s a quick video to show you what I’m packing in my hospital bag:

Clothing/Accessories: 

I’m bringing a few days worth of clothing. In general, labor and delivery will last anywhere between a few hours, and a few days. In the clothing department, I’m 100% focused on comfort so I’m mostly bringing training shorts, and clothing that’s not going to hold in sweat. For me, I know that I sweat a LOT when I’m stressed out, so cool, comfortable clothing is a must. In most cases, you’ll be in the hospital for at least 48 hours, but sometimes this can be longer depending on how the baby needs to be delivered, whether via a vaginal birth, or via a C-section. I’m packing about three days worth of clothes just in case. Hospitals also tend to get pretty cold at night so make sure to bring a sweatshirt or long sleeve, just something that you’ll be comfortable in. Also, don’t forget to bring in comfortable shoes. I’m going with a pair of running shoes for during the day, and a pair of slides at night for those late night snack runs for mom post-delivery. Labor can last for several hours, and during that time I plan on being by my wife’s side to help coach her through it, so comfort is key. 

Also, don’t forget that you’ll need to bring your grooming essentials. I personally have a great little Dopp kit that I got from the good folks at Bearded Crew. In there I’ll have all of my essentials like a toothbrush, toothpaste, wet wipes, beard products, etc. Don’t plan on having a ton of time to mess around with your grooming, so just focus on the essentials. 

Baby Clothes:

If you plan on taking the lead on this, there are a few things to consider. First of all, if you’re giving birth in a hospital you don’t need to worry about bringing diapers or wipes, as those will be provided to you in your room. It’s a good idea though  to put together a few little outfits for your new little one. We put some hats, socks, and onesies in our bag so that we could dress our baby for the ride home. Now there are some hospitals that may only allow you to put THEIR clothes on the baby. This is simply for sanitation and health reasons, so it’s nothing to be upset about if that turns out to be the case. You’ll have plenty of time to put them in those awesome onesies you picked out while awaiting their arrival. 

Food/Snacks:

As I mentioned before, labor can take anywhere from a few hours to a few days and during that time your partner will likely not be allowed to have anything except water and ice chips (and sometimes the occasional popsicle).  In my bag, I’m focusing on easy to eat snacks that’ll keep me fueled up through the labor and delivery process. I’m bringing a few protein rich snacks like jerky, as well as some crackers, oatmeal, and something sweet to keep me occupied when I’m nervous. The goal here is to have to leave the room as little as possible to go and find food. After delivery it’s likely that your partner will be fed regularly, as will you (depending on your hospital). The key here is that you want to have options. After delivery it’s possible that you and your partner will not have eaten for several hours (or even and entire day) and often times food services and cafeterias close after a certain time. So if it’s late at night, you’ll want to have something to snack on until you can get a more substantial meal. 

Other Stuff: 

Now on top of our hospital bag, I’ll also be brining a bag with all of our technology in it. This includes all of our phone chargers, iPads, camera for taking photos and video, and a bluetooth speaker to listen to some calming music during the labor process. Also, hospital rooms may not have very many plugs for your  to charge your electronics, so it’s always a good idea to bring a power strip just in case. 

A few other tips:

  • Get familiar with your car seat and make sure it’s installed properly. You are required to have a properly installed car seat in your vehicle BEFORE you’ll be allowed to leave the hospital with your newborn. If you’re not sure if you have it installed correctly, the hospital staff will help you check it before you leave. If you want to be proactive though, you can find often find a NHSTA certified safety inspection station near you (I’ve included a link below). Often times these safety inspection technicians are located at car dealerships, fire stations, EMS stations, and more. For example, our local police department is certified to do car seat safety inspections. https://www.nhtsa.gov/equipment/car-seats-and-booster-seats#inspection-inspection

  • Get familiar with how to swaddle and change a baby. Newborns sleep best and are most comfortable when swaddled. They’ve just gone through a huge change coming out into the world, and swaddling helps them (and you) be more comfortable and to feel more secure. If you’ve never changed a baby, it’s really not that hard. The nurses and hospital staff will be there to help you learn, but it’s always good to try and get some practice in before the big day. 

  • Take everything! All of those extra items like diapers, wipes, brushes for the baby, etc. are all things that you’ve paid for as part of your (very expensive) hospital stay. Don’t be shy about packing that stuff up and taking it with you to use at home. 

  • Some hospitals have specific policies about photos and video before, during, and after your hospital stay. So always check with them to understand their policy, and try your best to adhere to it. However, this is an incredible moment in your life and journey as a parent, so if you want to sneak some photos, do so at your own risk :-) 

Have something that you’d like to add? Leave a comment below!

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THE PERFECT DADDY DIAPER BAG? // THE 5.11 TACTICAL RUSH 12 BACKPACK

IF YOU’VE BEEN ON THE HUNT FOR A DIAPER BAG THAT LOOKS GREAT, WILL LAST A LIFETIME, AND DOESN’T BREAK THE BANK, I HAVE GOOD NEWS! WHILE THERE ARE NO SHORTAGE OF DIAPER BAGS ON THE MARKET, IT CAN BE HARD TO FIND A BAG THAT BALANCES FUNCTION, DURABILITY, AND USABILITY BETTER THAN THE 5.11 TACTICAL RUSH SERIES.

If you’ve been on the hunt for a diaper bag that looks great, will last a lifetime, and doesn’t break the bank, I have good news! While there are no shortage of diaper bags on the market, it can be hard to find a bag that balances function, durability, and usability better than the 5.11 Tactical RUSH series.

Like most dads I’ve had a hard time finding a diaper bag. I wanted something that was durable, functional, and could be easily organized for anything that our son could throw our way. After months of research, review videos and countless hours hemming and hawing at our local Buy Buy Baby, I think I’ve finally found the perfect diaper bag! The amazing thing is that it’s not a diaper bag at all. Now if you know the name 5.11 Tactical, you’ll know that they’re deep in the world of Everyday Carry, hiking, hunting, law enforcement, and more. They typically make gear focused on those who carry firearms for a living, as well as the “tacticool” community. I have a few items from their lineup including a jacket, but have never fully embraced their style because of their focus on military-style design aesthetic. However, when looking for a diaper bag I had a few criteria that I just couldn’t seem to find in any other line of bags.

  1. DURABILITY. I didn’t want a diaper bag that was ONLY a diaper bag. I wanted to be able to load it out in multiple configurations and use it far beyond our diaper years. The materials and craftsmanship also needed to be on point.

  2. FUNCTIONALITY. I wanted a bag that would not only serve as a diaper bag, but one that would be able to carry all of our mom/dad essentials as well. The needed to open wide enough that I could easily stuff things in, get things out, and keep everything organized so that I could find it quickly and easily.

  3. AESTHETIC. I wasn’t super worried about seeming like a “tough guy” dad with a tactical backpack. I wanted aesthetics that were simple and functional and not too over the top. I don’t need a ton of attachments, and if there are any they needed to be for go, not just for show.

  4. VALUE. Diaper bags are EXPENSIVE. In most cases, high quality diaper bags can range anywhere from $100-$150, and many only work as a diaper bag.

With our criteria covered, let’s dive into the bag that I chose.

durability

The 5.11 Tactical Rush Series of bags is built with long-term durability in mind. The outer shell is made of water-resistant 1050D nylon, and is designed to hold up to abusive outdoor use. This is the same material that’s used in military bags, heavy duty duffel bags, and more. It has a long history of standing up to abuse and daily use and should stand up to years of use as a diaper bag and beyond. Beyond just the bag material, the Rush 12 has heavy duty, self-repairing YKK zippers and zipper pulls. This means that the zippers, which are one of the most common failure points of any bag, are designed to be opened and closed thousands of times without coming apart or malfunctioning.

 

functionality

One of the biggest things I was looking for in a diaper bag was organization. Many of the dad bags out there have a few cool features, but largely are focused on baby’s stuff, but don’t have any real organization for those items, or for mom and dads items. This is a place where the Rush 12 shines. In total, there are 16 individual compartments throughout the bag, with a multi-slot administrative pocket for holding pens, pencils, flashlights, notebooks, or whatever else you might need quick access to.

The front admin panel also has some larger slots integrated into the front flap, as well as a zipper pocket towards the interior for things that might come loose as the bag is moving around. Moving up on the bag we have an unlined accessories pocket where you can store anything that needs to be within quick reach. Moving to the top of the bag there’s a soft-lined glasses pocket, perfect for sunglasses or phones.

Inside the Rush 12 you’ll find a huge internal compartment totaling about 24L of storage. On the front flap there are two mesh pockets, perfect for storing wipes, diapers, and other accessories. On the back panel of the bag there’s a large pocket with a tie down which is great for organizing a change of clothes, or even storing a laptop or tablet. The thing that really impressed me about this bag though was its ability to open completely and lay flat out. This means that you can access anything and everything stored in the internal storage compartments quickly and easily. When changing a baby you’re often trying to do things with one hand, so having the ability to see everything all at once is a huge plus.

A few other notable features:

  • This bag has space for a hydration pack with

  • The ergonomic straps also have a quick release buckle at the bottom making the bag very easy to get on and off at a moments notice

  • The Rush 12 has a sternum help distribute the weight more evenly across your body when fully loaded

  • The padded back makes the bag extremely comfortable to wear for long periods

aesthetic

Now, here’s where I think the Rush 12 falters a little, but I can’t really fault the designers. Overall the aesthetic of the bag is pretty understated, with no huge logos or crazy colors. I chose to go with the Black colorway instead of any of the more tactical looking Coyote Brown, OD Green, or Double Tap (it’s just grey). However, I do think that this bag is much more “tactical” than most diaper bags that I had been looking at. Again, this isn’t the fault of 5.11 Tactical (duh, they have tactical in their name), it’s just personal preference. The great thing about this tactical look though is that it does serve a purpose. The straps that you see all over the bag are called MOLLE webbing. Now MOLLE is a system that was developed for military use, and allows you to attach, detach, and reconfigure this bag to any number of use cases. You can attach and endless number of pouches, tools, and accessories to a bag like this to customize it to fit your exact needs.

value

This is where I believe the Rush 12 really shines. Coming in at around $99 dollars you’re right in the ballpark of typical diaper bags, but you’re getting tremendous value in terms of comfort, durability, and functionality, which you don’t find with most diaper bags. This bag also has value far beyond its use as a diaper bag. It can be used for hiking, outdoor adventures, and even as an everyday bag for commuting to and from the office once you’re no longer carrying around lots of gear for your little one.

What’s your favorite daddy diaper bag? Have you found an alternative to other, more traditional diaper bag companies? Let me know in the comments below!

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Family & Parenting Benjamin Brown Family & Parenting Benjamin Brown

BECOMING A PARENT MEANS FACING YOUR OWN MORTALITY

FACING DOWN ALL OF THE CHALLENGES OF BECOMING A NEW PARENT IS EXCITING AND DAUNTING, BUT WHAT I DIDN’T EXPECT WAS TO BE CONFRONTED WITH MY OWN MORTALITY…

FACING DOWN ALL OF THE CHALLENGES OF BECOMING A NEW PARENT IS EXCITING AND DAUNTING, BUT WHAT I DIDN’T EXPECT WAS TO BE CONFRONTED WITH MY MORTALITY…

I’m a soon-to-be dad, and that’s incredibly exciting. I’m excited about snuggles and adventures. I’m excited to teach my son all of the things that the men and women in my life have taught me that help me bring value to the world. I’m excited about all of the bedtime stories, laughter, and lessons that come with being a parent. One thing I didn't count on though, was the fact that becoming a parent meant confronting my mortality. It meant confronting the fact that my life is finite and that danger lurks around every corner.

With a little one on the way, I've been thinking so much about new beginnings. About how life can be created from seemingly nothing and grows into something beautiful. But as all things do, life also declines, and eventually ends, sometimes naturally but sometimes suddenly and tragically. So as a human responsible for the care and well-being of another soon-to-be human, I have to start confronting the fact that I won't be on this planet forever. Someday, if I've done my job right, my child will be set up for success and will be a happy, healthy, productive member of society. But I also need to plan for the unexpected.

With the outbreak of the COVID-19 pandemic, it's become abundantly clear that so much of this world is completely out of my control. War, famine, disease, crime, and so many other factors can impact our lives out of the blue. Our fragile existence seems to hang on by a thread with the fates ready to snip the cord at their leisure. I don't say all of this to sound bleak or pessimistic, but I do say it because it's the reality of the world we live in.

So what's the answer? How can I do what's best for my child, and help them lead the best life possible? I believe that it starts with planning. Planning for retirement, planning for college, and most of all, planning for what happens if my wife or I (or both of us), are suddenly not around to take care of our little one. Estate planning, living wills, powers of attorney, all of these are tools to help ensure that our child is taken care of if we're no longer able to.

Does all of this mean that I'm going to live in fear of something bad happening? No. It means the exact opposite. It means that if we've planned properly, we know that if something happens, our child (or children) will be cared for. Our kids will have the best chance at leading normal lives, going to college and not graduating hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt, and that they'll have food on the table. It means that we can go on adventures and live our best possible lives without fear of not having a safety net. It means being grateful for every moment, big and small. Gratitude, love, and a good plan. That's the move.

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Lifestyle, Family & Parenting Benjamin Brown Lifestyle, Family & Parenting Benjamin Brown

5 WAYS TO BE A BETTER PARTNER DURING PREGNANCY

SO YOU FOUND OUT THAT YOUR PARTNER IS PREGNANT AND YOU’RE EXPECTING YOUR FIRST CHILD?! THAT’S INCREDIBLY EXCITING NEWS! HAVING A CHILD IS AN INCREDIBLE TIME IN YOUR LIFE BUT IT CAN ALSO BE VERY OVERWHELMING. WHAT DO YOU DO AS A DAD? HOW DO YOU HELP YOUR WIFE OR PARTNER GET THROUGH THIS CHALLENGING TIME? HER BODY IS GOING TO GO THROUGH SOME MASSIVE CHANGES AND YOU CAN SOMETIMES FEEL LIKE YOU’RE JUST ALONG FOR THE RIDE. BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT THERE ARE LOTS OF THINGS THAT YOU CAN DO TO HELP LIGHTEN THE LOAD FOR YOUR PARTNER AND REALLY MAKE THE EXPERIENCE AMAZING.

So you found out that your partner is pregnant and you’re expecting your first child?! That’s incredibly exciting news! Having a child is an incredible time in your life but it can also be very overwhelming. What do you do as a dad? How do you help your wife or partner get through this challenging time? Her body is going to go through some massive changes and you can sometimes feel like you’re just along for the ride. But the good news is that there are lots of things that you can do to help lighten the load for your partner and really make the experience amazing. 



  1. Read as much as you can. 

    If you truly want to understand your partner is going through, one of the best things you can do is to read about it. While we’re never going to truly know what it’s like to go through a pregnancy, we as dads and committed partners can read and learn as much as we can about the process. Two of my favorite books are The Birth Guys Go-To Guide for New Dads by Brian WE. Salmon and Kirsten Brunner and The Expectant Father by Armin A. Brott and Jennifer Ash. Both of these books did a great job of laying out not only what to expect during the pregnancy, but also the first few months after the pregnancy. These books cover everything from what’s happening inside moms body, to what’s happening with baby’s development and what to expect through all of the appointments, body changes, emotions, and ways for you to help during every step of the way. Being a new dad can feel really scary sometimes, but reading and learning as much as you can will help you understand what’s happening, what to expect, and how you can be the best partner you can. 

  2. Attend as Many Appointments as You Can. 

    Appointments for baby and mom are really for everyone. If you want to be a good partner and help mom feel like you’re committed to the process, then you should do your best to make it to every appointment you can. Now I know that depending on work schedules and your job  that you may not be able to make every appointment, but these should be a priority. During these appointments you’ll learn a lot from your doctor about what to expect and about what’s happening inside moms body. This is also your chance to ask questions like what foods to eat and what foods to avoid, and learn more about what to expect during the entire pregnancy. Now the most fun part about these appointments is that they are also where you’re going to meet your baby for the first time. I can’t tell you how amazing it was to be there, with my wife when we heard our baby’s heart beat for the first time. That’s an experience that I’ll never forget and it truly made the pregnancy “real” for me. 

  3. The Pregnancy is not about you. 

    You need to take care of yourself yes, but this time is all about mom. From the appointments, to the questions, to what you’re thinking about, reading about, and purchasing, this time is all about mom and preparing for the delivery of your new baby. If you’re a man who tends to think more about himself and what he wants, it’s time to get over it. Now, I’m not saying that you need to be a doormat for your partner, as all relationships should involve a healthy amount of give and take, but try your best to be more understanding and patient during this time. Mom’s hormones are likely going crazy as her body prepares to carry and birth a child. She’s going to be more emotional, have food cravings, and food aversions. She’s going to be extremely happy, and extremely sad at the drop of a hat, and she may even be a little more quick to anger than normal. This is all a normal part of the baby baking process. This is your time to really work on developing your patience and listening skills. 

  4. Be involved and excited about shopping for the baby. 

    Now I know that shopping might not be your favorite thing in the world but the truth is that babies need a TON of stuff. Bottles, blankets, cribs, rockers, high-chairs, car seats, strollers, etc. Mom is going to need a lot of help researching and picking out the best stuff for your new little one. Be present, and be excited about this next chapter in your lives. It’s likely that mom is feeling very overwhelmed by not only what’s happening in her body, but also be all of the seemingly endless decisions that need to be made. Take some initiative and help her figure out what crib you want to buy, what strollers work best for your family and your budget, and researching what products are going to suit your lifestyle and how you want to raise your new baby. So far, we’ve spent several hours in furniture stores, and places like Buy Buy Baby just looking at, feeling, touch, and seeing new products as we get ready for our little one to arrive. Even if you’re tired, or bored, keep a smile on your face and help your partner work through the process, because I can almost guarantee that you’re not as tired or overwhelmed as she is. 

  5. Be prepared to do a LOT of listening. 

    Mom is going through a rough time. Some moves have harder pregnancies than others, but all pregnancies come with their difficulties. On top of the physical issues that she’ll endure (constant headaches, constipation, strange cravings, being constantly hungry and nauseous all at the same time), she’ll be going through a range of emotional challenges as well. Having a baby is a huge deal, and it should be treated that way. This means that when mom or you are ready to talk, it’s important that it gets your undivided attention. Mom may confess fears or worries to you and you as her partner have to be there to support her and reassure her that you’re in this thing together. She may worry about being a good mother, about the possibility of something going wrong during the pregnancy, or about what you’ll think about her after the baby is born. Be a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on if need be. Be present in the moment with her when she’s talking about her feelings, thoughts, and emotions. These may just seem like common sense things to do in any healthy relationship, but they’re especially important during a pregnancy. Mom is going to be especially vulnerable during this time, and it’s your job to help bring a sense of stability to the process. 


So that’s it, those are five simple ways that you can be a better partner during your pregnancy. Remember that to truly be a good partner you have to let mom know that you’re there to support her every step of the way. You’re in this thing together and that you’re excited about the prospect of bringing your child into the world. She’ll appreciate it more than you’ll ever know, and it can only help bring you closer together!


Have something you’d like to add? Leave a comment below and help other first time parents through the process of pregnancy! 

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