WHAT THE US ELECTION CAN TEACH US ABOUT PARENTING

We’re in the middle of one of the most divisive elections in the history of the United states. It’s been four years of incredibly intense rhetoric from both sides, and an exhibition in failed leadership and failed humanity. Here, on the cusp of learning the results of the 2020 presidential election, it’s important to reflect on what we can learn from this pivotal moment in american history.

It all started with a concession speech from the late Senator John McCain…

During the 2008 presidential race, I was 21 years old. I was sure that I understood the world, and my place in it (as 21 year olds often are). I was sure of my politics, and I was sure of my disdain for John McCain. He had, after all, been a part of the group of GOP clowns who pushed for endless wars in the Middle East right? Right?

At the time, I didn’t bother watching this concession speech, because I thought it to be inconsequential. The candidate that I wanted to win, won. My team prevailed, so that was all that mattered. Looking back on all of this I realize that I lacked the maturity and perspective to understand what poor leadership truly looked like. I had been blessed in my lifetime up until that point to see generally solid leaders in the White House. Well respected men who acted with the nations best interests at heart. Leaders who, despite differences with their opponents, ultimately attempted to bring the country together to fight for the common good. While there were disagreements about how to get there, everyone at least appeared to work across party lines for the good of our nation.

Then came the surprise presidency of Donald J. Trump and with it, an exposure of an America that we had only seen glimpses of during the Obama presidency. I watched ordinary Americans divided along party lines, and ideals on humanity, religion, sexual orientation and basic human rights. It felt like the country was broken. It felt like the American that I knew and loved had somehow come apart and that it’s fundamental goodness and light had been diminished and was on the brink of being destroyed. Now that it appears that his presidency is coming to an end (and Trump feels backed into a corner), his speeches, actions, and rhetoric have become even more unhinged.

So what do these two things (McCains concession speech and Trumps current insanity) have to do with parenting? If we look at McCains concession speech, what we see is a prime example of true leadership. Even though it was a hard fought campaign, at the end of it, there were two men who came away from it with mutual respect, and the conviction to work together to build a better nation. Instead of focusing on continuing to batter, beat, and berate each other, McCain and Obama found common ground on which to stand and work together. Trump on the other hand, driven by ego, hubris, and lack of personal responsibility, has continued to spout hatred and vitriol for four years. Instead of attempting to work with others who have differing views from him, he has positioned himself as the savior of a nation. He used the anger created during the 2016 election cycle to continue to campaign long after he won the election. He’s essentially spent four years patting himself on the back instead of leading the nation.

McCain showed us that a true leader is gracious in defeat. He treated his opponent with respect, even though they both fought an incredibly difficult battle for the White House. He realized that at the end of the day, both of them love their country and ultimately had the same goal: to build a better country for our children, grandchildren, and fellow citizens. This is the lesson.

We need more leaders like John McCain (a sentence I never thought I’d write). We need more leaders in this world who know how to stand up for what they believe in, but without then believing that those who don’t agree with them are somehow evil. Just because we don’t agree with someone, doesn’t mean that they’re less human than we are. It’s good to have differing opinions, but it’s not good to hate someone based on those opinions.

As my grandpa used to say “Opinions are like assholes, everyone’s got one”.

In my mind, what the 2020 presidential race has taught us that we need better elected officials, more parents, and more leaders doing a better job showing what it means to be a good citizen of this great nation. We need to set the example on how to disagree with someone without painting them as evil or less than. The fact is, that most people out there have more in common than they do differences, no matter what they’re background. Everyone wants to feel safe, everyone wants to have enough to eat and a roof over their heads, everyone wants the best for their children, and everyone wants to be able to live the way they want without interference from others. This all or nothing attitude has infected our country at the highest positions and will influence how we relate to one another for years to come. But when we look deeply at ourselves, acknowledge our own biases, and work to better understand one another rather than claw, and tear, and destroy the “other side”, then and only then can we continue to become the nation that we were meant to be. When this is all over I hope that we can move on, together as a nation, and as Americans into a brighter future.

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