DO YOUR DUTY AS A CITIZEN

“Patriotism is not short, frenzied outbursts of emotion, but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime.”
― Adlai E. Stevenson II

To find your voting location, visit vote.org: https://www.vote.org/polling-place-locator/

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Patriotism and patriotic duty get a bad rap in todays political climate. The word patriot has been bastardized and belittled to the point of being meaningless save for encapsulating the boisterous, divisive political rhetoric that we see on the nightly news and inundating our social media feeds. And yet each of us, as citizens of this nation have a truly patriotic duty; to vote.

In a nation where a small minority decides who gets to run for office, and where nearly half the country doesn’t even participate in the voting process, it’s our duty to cast a ballot. To show those in power what matters to us, what we want our country to be, and whether or not we agree with the direction in which we’re heading.

While we can’t control the special interest, or gerrymandering, or the corruption in the political system, we can make our voices heard through the ballot box. You might think to yourself “one vote doesn’t matter”, but there have been cases in local and state elections where the outcome was decided by one or just a few voters. More importantly, voting is one of the most important and powerful rights that we can excercise as free citizens of a democracy. Voting is so powerful in fact, that there are politicians who are actively trying to keep you from doing it through voting laws, lawsuits, scare tactics, and rigging the system.

But if we can’t control these things then what’s the point? I would argue that voting is the least we can do to participate in the political system and to ensure that future generations understand that we took the time and made the effort to try and leave a better world for them. I would not be able to look my children in the face and know that when it counted, I chose to not participate. I chose not to have a voice in their future, in building and securing a better world for them. Politicians count on the apathy and disengagement of the citizens to maintain power and control.

A better world is built upon every day actions. Big changes are enacted bit by bit, step by step. The world changes because of the small actions of many people working towards the common good. Your vote is a powerful action that moves us towards a better tomorrow.

how an ancient philosophy helped me manage my parental anxiety

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There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power or our will.

- Epictetus

The world is a challenging place. Every day it feels like we’re hearing more bad news. More things to fear, more tragedies, more things to be angry about. Until I became a parent, the happenings of the world didn’t really bother me. If anything they were a footnote in my daily life. All that changed when my son was born.

After my son was born and the initial shock of becoming a dad wore off, I was struck by anxiety like I had never experienced before. I was worried about everything. Suddenly the trouble of the world came crashing into focus. Everything felt overwhelming, it felt like it was all a danger and that there was nothing that I could do to stop it. I felt powerless. As those feelings washed over me, one thing occurred to me: I wasn’t better or worse off than anyone else when it came to the powerlessness in the face of world events.

It was around this same time that I stumbled across the writings of Ryan Holiday and the teachings of the great stoic philosophers. At the core of these teachings was the principle that we should only focus our time, energy, and effort into things that we can actually impact, instead of worrying about the things that are beyond our control.

Everyone, and I mean everyone has the same power to influence the direction of the universe, of their fate, of world events as I do. So who was I to use my time and energy to worry about things that I had absolutely no control over? What did that gain me? Wouldn’t my energy be better spent on focusing intensely on the things that I could control? The answer was quite simply, yes.

What I found in the writings of the stoic philosophers was a mindset that would force me to challenge myself. To look inward, and to learn to have a more realistic relationship with the world, the universe, and my own emotions. This is a journey that started years ago, but now has become more important than ever for my personal growth, for my growth as a father, and my growth as a husband.

Does this mean that I’ve given up worrying about world events? No, I don’t think that any human can look at the state of the world and rightly say that there’s nothing that they worry about. But the idea is to not become attached to those emotions, to become addicted to the anxiety that it brings. What it has challenged me to do is to focus on how I manage my emotions, how I express and experience gratitude for small moments, and how I work to appreciate but not attach to things that are impermanent. In all things and in all ways happiness, or at the very least personal peace, comes from the acceptance of things as they are when there is no way for us to change them. But that also frees us up to focus on and appreciate what truly matters.

Have something to add? Leave a comment below!

HOW TO STYLE YOUR BEARD LIKE A PRO

Styling your beard like a pro doesn’t have to be difficult or time consuming. With a few simple tools, you can style your beard to perfection each and every day! Watch the video below for a few great tips on how to style your beard like a professional.

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TOOLS YOU’LL NEED*:

• Beard pick or comb

• Boar bristle brush

• Beard oil (my favorites come from Bearded Crew) *

• Hair Dryer

• Beard Balm

*Disclosure: Bear in mind that some of the links in this post are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase I will earn a commission. Keep in mind that I link these companies and their products because of their quality and not because of the commission I receive from your purchases. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you. I will continue to provide accurate, honest reviews regardless of any commissions or products received.

The styling process

1. A good styling process starts by making your facial hair as easy to work with as possible. For me, that means using warm water (either from the shower or the sink) to wet my beard. The warmth of the water is going to help open up and soften the hair so that it’s easier to detangle and work with. Once you’re done, take a towel and pat your beard dry so that it’s just damp (not sopping wet) PRO TIP: Don’t go too hot here. Super hot water will cause the skin under your beard to dry out and the hair to get more brittle cause split ends and itching.

2. Apply your beard oil. This is a great time to apply some beard oil to moisturize the beard hair and the skin underneath. After being exposed to warm water, your beard is more receptive and absorbent and will soak up the life-giving goodness of a quality beard oil. For my beard which is about nine inches in length, I have to apply two full droppers of beard oil to get the moisturizing benefits. Be sure to work the oil down into the roots of the hair and your face underneath. This will not only help you grow a healthier beard, but will help avoid the dreaded “itch”.

3. After working the oil through, let your damp and moisturized beard sit for a few minutes. Brush your teeth, have the cup of coffee, take that morning dump, whatever you want to do to pass a few minutes while your beard soaks up the oil.

4. Once the oil has had a chance to work on your hair and skin, take your beard pick (or comb depending no the texture of your facial hair) and start combing out your beard. PRO TIP: Start by combing your beard from the bottom to the top. This way, you know that as you work the comb through that you’ve already detangled the areas that you’re combing down into. This is especially important if you have coarse beard hair like I do. Watch the video for a more in-depth explanation.

5. Now that you’ve detangled your beard, take a dime to quarter sized dollop of beard balm and warm it up in your palms. Then distribute that through your beard from root to tip. The point of a beard balm is not only to provide some additional moisture, but also to help hold the beard hair in place once you’ve styled it.

6. Time to break out the hair dryer. Set your dryer to medium-high heat (most dryers have multiple settings: Low, Medium, High, or Low & High). Take some time to experiment to see what setting works best for your hair. For me, I use the high-heat setting because of my coarse beard hair. Take your comb and dryer and think of them as one single unit. Move the dryer down your beard as you use your comb to train the hairs in a downward direction. This will not only help style your beard, but will start to train them to all move in the same direction and reduce frizz.

7. Once you’ve made your way through your entire beard, switch your dryer to it’s cool setting. Using the cool setting is going to cool down your hair, and help to set it in place so that it stays. This is when I break out the boar bristle brush to help manage any small flyaway hairs that might pop up, and to give my beard a smooth, polished look.

That’s it! You’ve successfully styled your beard like a pro! No go out and conquer the day!

5 TIPS TO MAKE THE WORKING FROM HOME EASIER

The outbreak of COVID-19 across the globe has dominated the headlines for the last month, forcing many companies to close, or to ask its workforce to work from home. For many, this may be a completely new experience. To help you out, here are five ways to help make working from home easier.

Transitioning from a traditional office setting to working from home isn’t easy. Some companies have issues allowing their employees remote access due to infrastructure and IT challenges. As someone who’s worked from my home almost exclusively for the last three years, I can tell you that it does take some adjustment. The good news is though that there are lots of ways that we can make this transition easier!

1. Create a dedicated workspace.

   Let’s face it, working from home can be incredibly distracting. There’s’ laundry to be done, chores to finish and projects that need to be completed, all while you’re trying to concentrate on learning a new way to work. This is why it’s important to have a dedicated workspace. Having a work environment that serves too many purposes is not only distracting but can drastically reduce your productivity. A dedicated workspace can be anywhere from a room in your home, to a space that you use for work purposes ONLY. Set up a temporary desk in your kitchen if you have to, but make sure that when you’re in that space you’re focused on work tasks only. Having a dedicated space in which to do work not only helps you concentrate on the work that needs to be completed, but can also help you block out some of the other distractions that naturally happen in your home. Typically I have a personal office that I use to get work done (it’s not fancy, just another room in my house that’s dedicated to working and content creation). For the time being though, I’m having to use the same room that serves as our bedroom while our new house is being built. This isn’t the most efficient setup as I’m easily distracted from my work by other household chores and goings-on, but it’ll work in a pinch.

2. Invest in a quality pair of headphones.

   Now, this tip is something that I use even when I am in a typical office situation. I feel that music (or sometimes even just using the noise-canceling feature with nothing playing) is incredibly useful in drowning out distractions and focusing on the task at hand. My personal favorites are the Beats Studio Headphones and the Jabra Elite 75t in-ear headphones. Both have great noise-canceling features and help keep me on task, instead of being distracted by other conversations (or my dogs snoring loudly on the bed behind me). A good pair of headphones will also help you get through the upcoming conference calls, video meetings, and more that you’ll be joining now that you’re working remotely. Whether you want to listen to music or just silence the noise of your household or office, a good set of headphones is the most valuable tool I can recommend.

3. Develop a routine.

   Human beings are creatures of habit. We’re comforted by routine. Routine helps us get a handle on the day, set our intentions and stay productive. Developing a daily routine will also help get you out of the mindset of “being at home” and into the mindset of “being at work”.

   Here’s an example of my daily routine:

   5:30-6am - Wake up and do ten minutes of meditation. Think about my goals for the day.

   6 am - Take the dogs on a 20 minutes walk around the neighborhood

   6:30 am - Yoga and stretching to help get my mind and body moving for the day

   7 am - Feed the dogs, feed myself and make coffee

   7-8 am - Read the news, a book, or do some writing

   8 am -12 pm - Start the workday

   12 pm - 1 pm - Take a break to either go to the gym or go for a walk with the dogs around the neighborhood. Eat lunch.

   1 pm - 4 pm - Conference calls, meetings and video conferences (most of my team is on the West Coast)

   4 pm - End of the workday wrap up. Deal with any emails that need to be responded to before the next day, wrap up any writings, etc.

Learning how to set up my day was one of the biggest enhancements to my productivity while working from home. Having a routine to follow each day lets me set my mind and body in a good direction and without it I feel lost or unproductive. The reality is that you’re going to have days when you just can’t get much done, but as long as we can set ourselves up to be successful on most days, then we’re heading in a good direction.

4. Get up and get moving

For some reason, we as Americans are afraid to take breaks. We’re afraid of the judgment that comes with leaving our desk and seeming like we’re lazy or unproductive. The truth is though that frequent, small breaks and movement make you more productive and creative. We can think of our ability to focus like a gas tank, the longer you focus, the less gas you have in the tank. But we can always stop and refuel, meaning that by taking a short break, we can stop, refuel our mind, and then get back to it with fresh eyes and renewed energy. You can accomplish this simply by getting up and taking a short walk, doing some stretching, or even simply just mindlessly browsing or reading for a few minutes (just don’t get lost in the internet rabbit hole).

5. Learn how to use your company’s social and meeting tools.

I can’t even count how many people I’ve worked with who have no idea how to leverage their companies internal social networking and video conferencing tools. I believe though that this says more about how large companies onboard their employees, and the value (or lack of) that they place on video conferencing vs. in-person meetings as well as social connection. The majority of all meetings that I’ve been involved with can likely be accomplished just as smoothly and effectively with video conferencing software like Zoom or Microsoft Teams as it can in-person (this also means that no one has to potentially come into contact with someone who’s contracted COVID-19, seasonal flu, or any other nasty bug floating around). If you haven’t taken the time to truly learn how to use these tools to the fullest extent, then now is a great time!

Social networking tools can help the isolation of work from home feel less daunting because you can interact and engage with people from all over your company. Large or small, these networks help us find information faster, learn from each other, and understand who the people within our company are. We can share opinions, information, and have conversations across the company. While this will not ever replace human interaction, it can provide a really nice way to engage with others, build community, and stay productive during a time of crisis. These platforms are also specifically designed to provide flexible working options (for say when you have a global pandemic, or just need to have your hours or location be more flexible). Make use of them, learn them, and master them. It’ll make your job and communication much easier than just relying on email!

Have a work from home tip that you want to share? Leave a comment below!

FIVE LESSONS I LEARNED IN 2019

As 2019 comes to a close and we launch full force into a new decade, I wanted to take time to reflect on some of the lessons that I learned in 2019. This year was far more challenging and rewarding than I ever expected. Our world was shaken up and changed in so many ways. We started so many new ventures and were forced to really look at what matters in our lives, and figure out what’s important to us.

LESSON 1: We’re more resilient and tougher than we thought we could be.

In January of 2019 our world was turned upside down. My mother in-law suffered from a massive stroke that nearly killed her. We spent countless hours, days, and weeks traveling between our home in Charlotte and her hospital room in Asheville. It was extremely touch and go for several weeks as she was constantly assessed and evaluated by doctors. Most of them said that she would never recover from this episode, and that we should prepare for the worst. Fast-forward a few weeks and she was back to having basic conversations, eating on her own, and was able to move all of her extremities. We made the decision to move her to Charlotte where she could get the best care and rehab possible. She completed rehab with flying colors and was back to walking short distances, having full conversations, and starting the long and difficult journey of getting back to some semblance of normalcy. It was at this time that we made the decision that the best course of action was to have her move in with my wife and I so that she could continue to get the therapy that would help her get back to a normal quality of life. For the next seven months, my wife and I cared for her in our home. The first few months were the most challenging as we settled into our new normal of doctors appointments, in-home therapy, cooking for three, and having to be home 24/7 to ensure that she was safe.

Taking care of a loved one who can’t take care of themselves is something that we never expected to have to face in our early 30’s. It was a constant struggle for my wife and I since our lives, which had been totally about us, and what we wanted, were now completely about making sure that my mother in-law got the best care that we could give her while she recovered. This carried a massive set of challenges in that we now had no time for each other. Every conversation was about planning, scheduling, managing medications and appointments, and her progress. There were so many sleepless nights, arguments, and break downs. We struggled to keep each others emotions in check. We had to learn how to get through this challenge together. We had to learn how not to find blame with one another and to find our little moments of peace and joy. We managed to find these small moments where we could laugh, cry, or just enjoy a quiet moment watching TV. These moments never lasted long, but they kept us going.

I firmly believe that this experience could’ve broken our marriage. At times it was hard not to feel resentful or angry. In spite of, and because of this experience though, we managed to come out the other side as a stronger couple. I found my ability to truly partner with my wife, and to give constantly of myself, my time, and my empathy because I knew that she was feeling the same things that I was, and even more so. I saw my wife in new ways. I saw her strength, her resilience, her patience, and her kindness. I found new levels of empathy and gratitude in my life that I didn’t know I could experience. We chose not to let this define our partnership. We chose to make our mental health a priority, and we came out of the other side stronger for it.

LESSON 2: taking calculated risks is necessary

If you want to grow, you have to take risks. Over the last few years, I’ve taken fewer risks. I have more to lose. I’ve become more and more comfortable. But if there’s one thing that I’ve learned after reflecting on the successes I’ve had this year, they’ve always come as the result of taking a calculated risk. I’ve made positive moves in my career, which were the result of seeing and taking advantage of the opportunities presented to me. Every one of those opportunities came with a risk. Would I be good at my new responsibilities? Could I handle the additional workload? Could I step up and lead? I took time to reflect on what my leaders had told me, what I had learned from those I respected. If they had the confidence in me to lead, then why shouldn’t I? Why shouldn’t I be the person that believes in my abilities the most? Now I’m not saying to be arrogant, but that we should be confident that we can make use of the tools that we have at our disposal. In my personal life, my wife and I decided to move away from the area that we’ve lived in for the last ten years to build our dream home in South Carolina. This was a huge (and honestly terrifying move). It meant that we’d be selling our house, but have no home to move into. We’d also be taking on a new set of financial and emotional obligations to make this happen. At the end of it though, we believe that we’ll be in an excellent position to live the life we want, to build our family, and to move forward with our lives with a beautiful new beginning. Personally, I made the commitment to start creating more, to start using more of my time to make content and share my opinions through videos and this blog. Creating something and bringing it into the world can be an almost paralyzing endeavor. It means that all the world can see what I’ve made and judge it for its worth. I’ve found that creating though has given me a tremendous tool and outlet to start discussions, connect with others, and to challenge my own personal beliefs in ways that I hadn’t before. It has forced me to examine who I am, what I believe in, and why I see the world in the way that I do. It has taught me that in order to keep growing, I have to keep learning, and I’ll be forever thankful for that lesson.

LESSON 3: gratitude is the only way to be truly happy

Gratitude is the attitude. In 2019 I learned the practicing gratitude has helped me see the positive lessons in even the most challenging situations. We all face challenges, whether it be in our careers, or our personal lives. When we lose sight of what we have accomplished, and the amazing world around us, then we can feel lost, angry and alone. By actively practicing gratitude, we can shift our perspective to be more positive, more forgiving, and more empathetic. I tried to change the way I saw my failures. Instead of looking at them as something to be angry about, I saw them as lessons that would make me better as a husband and a man. I was grateful for those who showed their true colors to me so that I could make better decisions on how I spent my time and energy. I learned to be grateful for my failures, for constructive criticism, and for the challenges I’ve been presented with. Each one of them holds an opportunity to learn and grow, and growth to me equals happiness.

LESSON 4: MATERIAL POSSESSIONS DON’T MAKE ME ANY HAPPIER

I love to shop. I love new gear and gadgets. I love the process of unboxing a new toy or a new thing that I somehow think is going to improve my life. However I’ve realized that I don’t shop when I’m happy. I don’t shop when I’m at peace. I don’t shop when I’m satisfied. I shop when I’m stressed or tired or out of balance. This has become a less than ideal habit that I need to break myself from in 2020. I’ve committed to asking myself “will this purchase make me happy, or will it fulfill me in some way?”. The answer in most cases is “no”. I’ve realized that the things that I own can sometimes end up owning me, my time, and my focus. I pay bills for things that I bought years ago and may not even use today. I owe money for items that didn’t bring me any more joy or happiness beyond the initial thrill of purchasing something new.

So what does make me happy? Experiences. Experiencing life, experiencing love, experiencing new adventures in new places with people that I care about. Having deep conversations around a fire with people I respect and admire. Those are the things that I remember. Those are the moments that I cherish and seek out. In 2020 I want to break myself of my shopping addiction and start building something better: a more stable financial future.

LESSON 5: YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN HAPPINESS

You and you alone are responsible for your own happiness and fulfillment. Seeking happiness from a spouse, friend, child, or partner isn’t ultimately going to help you. Your happiness has to come from within. You have to work for it every single day by pursuing the things that fulfill you and help you grow. If you’re waiting on that perfect person to come into your life to make you happy, you’re going to be consistently disappointed. Anyone in your life should add to your happiness by helping you gain perspective, grow, and become a better person. Cut toxic people out of your life, and stop wallowing in toxic behaviors. Pursue the things that truly add to your fulfillment and enjoyment of life, but know when it’s necessary to do the hard work to get to those things. Anything worth having and that will truly add to your happiness isn’t easy or free. It takes work, commitment, and consistency to get to those goals. It’s also unfair to put the responsibility of your happiness on your partner. How can they be responsible for your happiness and theirs as well? Are you stifling their growth because you feel that it’s his or her responsibility to make sure that you’re happy? In order to find out what makes you happy you’re going to have to take time for some deep introspection to develop self-awareness. Again, this takes work, time, and a lot of effort, but in the end you’ll be a happier, more balanced human being.

What are some of the lesson’s that you learned in 2019? What are some of the goals that you have in 2020? Share them in a comment below!

MASCULINITY IN THE MODERN AGE

In today’s political and social climate, the term masculinity or “masculine” gets a really bad rap. But is masculinity really a problem? In today’s post, we’re going to talk about masculinity in the modern age. 

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WHAT IS MASCULINITY AND WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO ME?

As I stated in the title of this post, masculinity today gets a really bad rap. But what doesn’t it mean to be “masculine”? Is it going out and chasing girls? Is it getting into fights? Is it cat-calling strangers? Is it dominating those around you and displaying physical strength?

So what is masculinity? How do we define it? Masculinity is defined as a set of behaviors or standards associated with boys and men.  To me, masculinity is the totality of the things I’ve learned about being a man, and what it means to be a man. In my mind, masculinity is none of these characteristics alone. Masculinity is a mindset. It’s a way of carrying yourself and relating to the world. It’s the underlying principles that help us govern our behavior, and helps us as men to bring value to our families, our homes, and our communities.

Masculinity dictates how I interact with my family, my peers, my community, and the world around me. Masculinity helps me relate to, but not be controlled by, my emotions and feelings. It doesn’t mean that you can’t cry, it doesn’t mean that you can’t show emotion. It doesn’t mean that your wife or significant other can’t have any job but taking care of your offspring, and it doesn’t mean that you’re the one who has to be the sole breadwinner of your family. Masculinity means taking responsibility and ownership of your actions and views. It means taking action in your community. It means being truthful and honest with your family, friends, partners, and those you influence. Masculinity means checking your ego and checking your bullshit at the door, and genuinely connecting with and supporting those in your life. 

THE VERY BEST AND VERY WORST

Now masculinity isn’t a singular lesson that I was taught. It’s more the totality of the experiences and examples that I’ve learned from men in my life that I respect. I’ve been very fortunate to experience both the very best, and the very worst examples of what it means to be a man. My lessons in manhood started with my grandfather. My grandfather was a huge influence in my life. He taught me things like how to shave, how to change the oil in my car, and how to work until I had nothing left to give in support of my family. But what he also taught me was respect. He showed me, through his own example how to live with respect and love for your family. He taught me how to show your respect for your family by being present and accountable for their well-being. He taught me how to be gentle when it was right to be gentle, but he also showed me how to be assertive, and sometimes even aggressive when necessary. He showed me that being strong in body, mind, and spirit were admirable qualities that I should pursue. He showed me that men need meaning and responsibility in their life in order to be truly fulfilled as men. For him, that responsibility was caring for and providing for his family. It was teaching and helping his kids and grandkids grow into contributing members of society and the community. 

Now on the other side of the coin, you have my father who was not a man that deserved my respect or admiration. That was a hard lesson to learn as every little boy wants to love and be loved by their father. But as I grew up I realized that he was not the man I wanted to be. I wanted him to be the man that I thought he should be, instead of the man he really was. He was immature. He blamed his poor behavior on things that happened in his past and had little control over his emotions. He acted impulsively and focused on material things and pleasures for his fulfillment and joy. He lied, cheated and disengaged from others when things got difficult. In short, he never grew from a boy to a man and constantly felt that he had to prove how “manly” he was through aggression, posturing, and possessions.

TWO SIDES OF MODERN MASCULINITY

These are in my mind the two sides of modern masculinity. On one hand, you have men who are committed to the betterment of themselves, their families and their community. On the other, you have “men” who chase pleasure, instant gratification, and personal gain with no accountability for their actions, emotions, or outcomes. What we see and characterize as “toxic masculinity” is really just men lacking guidance on how to be men. We see boys who’ve grown into the bodies of men, but who lack the mental fortitude and convictions of real men. They act with impulsiveness, carry themselves with bravado and are more concerned with finding the next pleasurable activity than taking responsibility and chasing goals and personal growth. From this attitude we’ve seen the rise of rape culture and the idea that “boys will be boys”.

Real men, on the other hand, take responsibility for their actions. They’re accountable for the outcomes of their decisions. They’re leaders, fathers, brothers, coaches, and mentors. These are the men who will go out of their way to not only be leaders inside their own home but will become leaders outside of their home and in their community. These are the men who teach us what it truly means to be a man, and that being a man isn’t inherently bad. They teach us that we’re not simply at the mercy of our hormones and genetic programming, but that we can overcome this to find true meaning and fulfillment in our lives.

Being masculine isn’t bravado or machismo. It’s not about who can sleep with the most partners or make the most money or drive the fanciest car. It’s about commitment to your convictions, about knowing who you are as a person. It’s about coaching others to be their absolute best and setting an example of how men can and should behave. It’s about leading your family and walking in partnership and love with your significant other. It’s about putting the needs of your family and community first before your own. It’s about leaving your mark and creating a legacy of caring, support, connection, and love. Too often we conflate “masculinity” with the fleeting displays of immature behavior exhibited by “men”. It’s our job to stand up as men and provide the right examples and to show young boys how to become great men. They teach us that a man does not run from hardship and difficulty. That’s life. Things are hard sometimes. But if you want the blessings and fruitful rewards, you have to take responsibility and find meaning in your life as a man. 

So how can we be better men?

So how can we be better men? How can we be better leaders, fathers, husbands, and community influencers?

1. Find your tribe! If you surround yourself with the lame, you’ll walk with a limp (thanks Mark Bell). If you surround yourself with mediocre man-children, you yourself will be a mediocre man child. The people you surround yourself with directly influences how you see the world and the effort you’re willing to put into pursuing your own growth and success. I didn’t have my father in my life growing up, but I was blessed to have my grandfather, who was a tremendously positive influence on my life and my understanding of manhood. I also have had some amazing male mentors in my life who were not a part of my family. However, I had to find those. Don’t be afraid to seek out positive male role models in your life. Maybe they’re church leaders, members of your community, or a coach that you respect. Seek them out, and ask them for their advice.

2. Don’t bullshit yourself. Don’t let yourself use excuses for not being where you want to be in life, love, or personal growth. This means taking responsibility and radical ownership of your actions, and for the outcomes of those action. Personal growth and maturity are difficult endeavors and they require constant work. Commit to telling yourself the truth. Commit to being honest with yourself about your struggles, strengths, and opportunities. Ask your mentors to do the same. Sometimes those hard truths may be hard to accept, but they will help us continue to improve ourselves.

3. Practice gratitude. Be thankful and grateful for every single opportunity that’s presented to you. You deserve exactly what you have. (Let me say that again for the people in the back). YOU DESERVE EXACTLY WHAT YOU HAVE. This means that you deserve no more and no less than what you’ve worked for. The universe doesn’t owe you anything that you’re not willing to put effort (real effort) into. If you want half-assed results, then put in half-assed effort. Anything worthwhile takes time, work, consistency and dedication to achieve.

4. Get a handle on the little things. Make your bed. Clean up after yourself. Exercise. Be reliable. These might seem like small things, but if you’re not able to control your immediate environment and the things that you have direct influence over, then why do you think that you can control (or should control) anything outside of that environment? Start doing the little things well and consistently. Committing to doing these small acts, although seemingly meaningless can produce a radical shift in your frame of mind. Commit to making small changes and you’ll be well on your way to making big changes.

5. Master your emotions. Being a man is not about being emotionless. Men cry. We feel deeply. We love, care, and can exhibit compassion and understanding. Being a man doesn’t mean being hard and callous. It means having a healthy relationship with your emotions and being able to relate to them in a meaningful way. It means that you’re not controlled by your emotions and that your behavior isn’t dictated by your emotions. Blaming your emotions is another way of shifting responsibility away from yourself. If you don’t have good examples in your life of how to relate to your emotions, then I highly recommend going to see a therapist. Seeking help to become a better man is not a sign of weakness. It shows that you’re taking responsibility for your life and your personal growth. Emotions are not something to be hidden away and stifled, but they should also not be in control of our lives.

As men we need to change the way we relate to the world

As men, we need to change the way that we relate to the world. Masculinity and male energy are not things to shy away from or to be discouraged. In fact, I believe that we should encourage our boys and young men to exhibit these traits. However, we need to teach them to exhibit the right forms of masculinity, not just what they see on television. Masculinity and male-ness is about leading, learning, loving, and being confident in who you are as a human being. We need to teach them about selflessness and sacrifice for the greater good and not about the pursuit of fleeting pleasures and material things. We’re here to be leaders of our communities, leaders in our homes, protectors, and providers. But we can’t do that without men who are willing to teach, coach and mentor a generation of lost boys who have no one to turn to.

WANDRD PRVKE 31 One Year Review // Is this the perfect camera bag?

If you’re like me, you’ve spent a lot of time and effort finding the right gear to fit your lifestyle, travel, and photo needs. Most of the time, you end up with multiple bags, with each out serving a specific purpose. Well my friends, the search for the perfect travel and photography gear bag may be over. Let’s dive into this review of the WANDRD PRVKE 31 liter camera bag.

WANDRD PRVKE Camera Backpack 1 Year Review // Is this the perfect camera/travel bag? [INFO FROM WANDRD'S SITE] The PRVKE Pack has won several awards for its innovative design and is now available in both a 21 liter and 31 liter size. It is a travel/camera/everyday backpack that is a delicate balance between minimalist style and no-detail-forgotten function.

BEARD CARE 101 - FIVE TIPS FOR GROWING A BETTER BEARD

Growing a thick healthy beard doesn’t have to be complicated. With a few simple tips, you can keep your beard healthy, well groomed, and beautiful.

In this weeks video we discuss five simple tips that can help you throughout the stages of your beard growth journey.

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Here are my top 5 beard care tips: 

1. PUT DOWN THE SCISSORS/TRIMMER: Growing a healthy beard takes time and patience. You’ll go through some really awkward stages where your beard looks TERRIBLE. If you stick with it though, you’ll eventually get more thickness, more coverage, and a better looking beard. BE PATIENT. 

2. INVEST IN QUALITY PRODUCTS: Yes, some beard care products are expensive and it’ll take some trial and error to find out what works for you. I’ve found a few products that I can’t do without. Because my beard is very coarse and thick, I typically need products that have more oils, and more hold than other bearded bro’s. I’ve also found that investing in a quality detangler can help you keep your beard styled and frizz free. Doc Elliott (made in Austin, TX) makes some great oils and balms and have been my go-to for the last few years (their Black Label beard balm smells amazing and has enough hold to keep my beard from being a wild mess). I’ve also started regularly using a detangler to keep my beard from knotting up, especially on the underside. Shea Moisture makes a great product (it can be hard to find and sells out fast). It smells amazing and keeps my beard in check between washings. 

3. WASH, BUT NOT TOO OFTEN:  Washing your beard too often can strip the natural oils out of your beard hard and dry our the skin underneath. I personally wash my beard 1-2 times per week AT MOST. This keeps it smelling fresh, but also keeps it from drying out and getting itchy. Personally I prefer the Mark of a Man Blend by Maestro’s (available at Target), which leaves my beard clean, but not completely dried out.

4. FIND A BARBER YOU TRUST: When it does come time to trim your facial forest, it’s important to find a barber that has a LOT of experience working with beards. Depending on your hair type, beard length, face shape, and beard growth pattern, your beard trim should be tailored to you. If you’ve worked hard to grow a glorious chin carpet then you don’t want someone jacking it up with a poor trim. 

5. USE QUALITY TOOLS: I can’t stress this enough. A $12-15 comb might seem super expensive when you can buy a cheap plastic one for $1, but the difference between quality tools and cheap tools is night and day. A cheap comb has sharp edges on the tines, and will ultimately irritate your skin, cut your beard hairs, and cause split ends. Using something like a Kent comb will make all the difference. I even keep a @cremocompany sandalwood comb in my pocket for quick clean up. Another place where newbies skip on quality is in their beard trimming scissors. Invest in a pair of super sharp, barber grade scissors. Sharp steel scissors will give you a nice clean cut when trimming your beard hair. A sharp clean cut will help keep you from creating split ends, and keep your beard looking thick and healthy.